my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
