Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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