you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
