ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
