I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
