dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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