Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
