She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
