Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
