I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
