just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
