Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
