Joe is yelling at the trees again.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
