he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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