I hate your face
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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