but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
