When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
3pm strippers are depressing
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
