Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
