I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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