dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
