i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
