Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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