no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
