There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
