So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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