All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
