there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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