guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
