marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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