How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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