your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We left the knife in your bed.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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