I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
