There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
