Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
