Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
