Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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