I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
