Dual....:-)
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
