So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
