I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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