ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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