There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
