the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
and you fell through a lawn chair
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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