I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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