wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
