Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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