I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
