She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My vagina is officially offended.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
