garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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