I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
