its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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