Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
