Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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