So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
