apparently the secret to your success is patron
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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