Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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