Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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