To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
